I Am NOT A Unique Snowflake

Thoughts from www.MarcoArash.com

Living Alone

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Living alone is not all it’s cracked up to be.

When I was younger I was in such a rush to move out, become independent and start living ‘life’.
The freedom of not answering to your parents, the ability to come and go and do whatever you want seems so fun and inviting but it is so much more complicated than that.

I’ve been living on my own for 8 year now.
Started off with sharing a place with roommates, then renting my own place, and now I’m a home-owner and totally independent.

That’s a problem though: being independent.
It forces you to pick up many things (budgeting, cooking, laundry, responsibility, etc) but it also takes a lot out of you.

It leaves you LONELY.
I’m not talking about being a loner or not having friends (you have the freedom to have anyone over, anytime you want).

What I’m referring to is not having someone to talk to.

When I was living at home I had my family. Now, I have to drive or call them if I was to see them, but it’s not the same.

You get accustomed to certain things and it’s tough to get un-accustomed to them.

I remember hearing my mother typing up on the computer and whispering with my dad so as not to wake up the kids in the middle of the night.
I remember waking up to the smell of breakfast and voices each and every morning.
I remember getting in arguments with my parents over the most trivial and minor things.
I remember play-fighting with my sister all the time, but now that I see her, it’s just a hug, kiss and conversation.

Just like in any relationship, it’s the small things that make all the difference in the world.

Good or bad, they create a deep scar in your heart that you carry on forever.
‘The sweet is never as sweet, without the sour’.

With that being said, I have a lot of respect for those who CHOOSE to stay at home and live with their family.

I’m not talking about people who use their parents as free room and board, but I mean more along the lines of those who stay with their parents (till they are married or something) because they want to take care of them and return all the devotion their parents had given to them, when they were children and needed guidance.

May 21, 2005 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Genuine Beauty

Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Moments of genuine beauty in life are far too rare.
It’s amazing to see legitimate wonderment, especially in the strangest of places.

I was thinking about this particular situation today.

A few months ago, I was driving downtown late at night, with a friend in the passenger seat.
We were listening to some oldies music, singing and joking, with the windows down and the music pretty loud.

I came up to an intersection where there were two homeless squeegee kids; a guy and girl.
I was playing That’s Amore by Dean Martin.
The guy looked at me, and we smiled at each other.

He turned his back to me, went up to the girl he was with in the middle of the street, took her hand and they began to dance together to the song.

If it had been done in a mocking fashion or for the sake of just causing a scene, that would have been something I would have just laughed, and shrugged off as bullshit, but it was so much more.

When they were dancing, they were looking into each other’s eyes the whole time, if it wasn’t for their physical appearance and clothes they would have appeared to be dancing at their wedding or an anniversary party, in which they were the only two people who mattered at the moment and the spotlight was on them and them alone.

No one or nothing else mattered for that brief moment in time.
They appeared to be completely oblivious to everything else around them.

The lights turned green, I waved at them and we drove off.

What I had just seen had caused such a profound effect on me and it took me a while to gather my thoughts. I have hardly ever seen a couple at a club that had that amount of love towards each other, based simply on observing them.

I witnessed a miracle, for lack of a better word.
It’s something I would love to see again but I know deep down I probably never will.

I remember in the movie American Beauty how one of the characters videotapes a plastic bag floating in the wind and sees it for so much more than what it actually is.

I don’t think people these days seem to actually stop and appreciate the smaller things in life for what they are.

Look at your life right now and count how many times you have seen genuine happiness.

There are so many times in which keeping your eyes open to see all you can truly see would make such a difference on your overall outlook on life.

The sad thing is that the effect it has is more than you would ever realize, until it actually happens.

May 2, 2005 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment