I Am NOT A Unique Snowflake

Thoughts from www.MarcoArash.com


Religion is good for people but at the same time it makes people become bad.
All the wars since ever, have been because of religion.
That’s why I don’t like religion.
I think religion can be good for education, but it can also be shit for many thing.
You need it, but at the same time, when you grow up, you need to get rid of it.

I always find that just dwelling on my thoughts, watching a film or hearing a song allows my mind to run wild.

Religion is a tough subject for me.
I was raised Catholic but after high school ended, I haven’t stepped into a church more than 2-3 times in my life.

I used to pray every night before going to bed, for so many years.
In fact, I used to believe that if I did not do the Sign of the Cross in a ‘perfect’ manner, my prayer wouldn’t have meaning and I would upset God.

Messed up, huh? I think I’m going to become bi-polar one day :p

Anyways, my point is this.
Why is it that individuals are so caught up in religion?

It gives then faith?
Something to hold on to?
A guide to follow during hardships in life?
Something that they follow, simply because they ‘should’?
Fear of what will happen in the afterlife?

Regardless, I see the point of life being simply to learn new things, meet new people and travel.
As long as you have a sense of respect for others, that is all that matters.

Believing in a higher power is one thing, but following doctrines and beliefs based on the writings of other normal people (just like yourself) is going too far.

On that note as well, Pope John Paul II is currently very sick and on the brink of death, I’m sure. I find it strange that others deify people, such as the Pope. He is human, just like you or I.

There is a higher power.
That’s it.

Nuns, popes, monks, saints, holy apparitions and anything of that matter have no sense of extreme importance.

People must learn that in order to achieve enlightenment, they must also be willing to come to grips with the difference between humanity and spirituality.


February 22, 2005 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Holding Onto Your Youth

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.

Last night I was driving home late on a deserted highway and heard a song that I remembered liking when I was young, but I never really paid attention to the words.

Jack and Diane from John Cougar Mellencamp has a section that goes like this:

Come and save my soul,
hold on to 16 as long as you can.
Changes come around real soon,
make us women and men.

I started to think of how much truth that particular part had and started to get tears in my eyes, but at the same time I started to smile because of how much nostalgia I had connected with my past.

When I was younger I didn’t have to think or worry bout SHIT!
My priorities were school, chilling with friends and not making my parents mad.
I remember stressing out and telling myself how much ‘I hate my life’.

Now, at 25, I have actual WORRIES: mortgage, loans, career, bills, legal responsibilities if I am found guilty of a crime, and so on.

I have to deal with the implications of everything I do now, and don’t have my parents to fall back on if I fuck up.

If I’m sad and stressed, can I go cry to my parents? No.
If my girlfriend breaks up with me, can I just mope about the house, feeling sorry for myself? No.
If I want to just go bike riding or swim all day, can I? Not without telling my boss 2 months beforehand.

I remember wanting to grow up so quickly when I was a teenager.

I wanted my parents to give me a lot of responsibilities.
I wanted to hang out with older people.
I thought ‘life would be so much better when I live on my own’.

I wish to have my youth back so much.
I guess that’s why I still do a lot of foolish things and have a lot of younger people that I associate with. I want to feel that somehow I still have it firmly grasped in my hands but I know that I am losing my grip with everyday that passes.

February 9, 2005 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment


Euthanasia is a long, smooth-sounding word, and it conceals its danger as long, smooth words do, but the danger is there, nevertheless.

Million-Dollar Baby is a film about a woman boxer who eventually becomes paralyzed and is euthanized by her friend/trainer. It is getting quite a bit of hype at this year’s Oscars and I saw it and so did my parents.

I have been raised Catholic and have written a few papers on euthanasia in the past. Even with my religious upbringing, I still see the situation as being a grey matter, and not having black and white boundaries.

My parents stance (and many other religious and morally-conscious individuals) would say that NO ONE has the right to end another person’s life, except for God. There is not ONE exception to this rule (be it abortion, suicide, euthanasia, death penalty, etc.)

But there are always questions you must ask yourself.

What if a girl was brutally raped & became pregnant?
What if a girl became pregnant from her incestuous uncle?

And then it brings up the point in Million Dollar Baby (granted this is just ONE situation).

The character is a poor, 30-something, uneducated waitress who has a family that doesn’t care for her at all, no friends and her only passion is boxing. She is eventually paralyzed at the height of her career, her leg is amputated, she cannot move anything except her eyes and mouth and is still so young. She tries to kill herself several times, but is not successful and eventually does so with the help of her friend/trainer.

My parents claimed that just because her body is severed and not of use, doesn’t mean that her mind is. In fact, she should be strong and make the best of what she has until her life naturally ends.

I picture myself in her situation and cannot see myself being bed-ridden for another 30-50 years, doing nothing other than staring at the white walls all day. No matter what moral anguish I would put myself through I would not be able to continue my life, as I have such high expectations.

As I said before, this is all a grey, case-by-case situation.
If euthanasia became legal or widely used it would be exploited and used on trivial matters.

This topic can be discussed for days on end, and not everyone will be happy with the outcome.

I close my eyes and picture my father asking me to end his life after a horrific accident.
(God forbid this would ever become reality).

If someone close to me who I love and care for would ask me to help him end his life it would probably be the most difficult decision in my life.

No matter how tortured and morally-exploited I would feel inside afterwards, I think I would eventually do as he would want me to as I would not want to see someone I love, filled with intelligence and grace to be reduced to a vegetable who has no source of happiness in his life.

February 2, 2005 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

The Following

Do one thing everyday that scares you.

Yesterday started off very typical.

Woke up, went to work, came back home, and decided to go for a walk in some sub-zero temperature. Being out in the winter is not something I do much, but the sun was out, so I bundled up in long-johns and gloves and went for a walk.

I grabbed some hot chocolate and a muffin at Tim Horton’s and was sitting down and my gaze fell towards a guy sitting down reading the paper and scribbling on his notepad. After a while he stood up and left.

I dunno what told me to do it but I left too and just followed him.
I didn’t feel seedy doing it, as I had no ill intentions, but I simply wanted to see what he was doing.

He walked all over downtown for a good 30 minutes, greeted a few people he knew (as I did as well to a few people I knew that I came across) and eventually went up to the front door of a house, an overweight lady came to the door, they kissed and he glanced over his shoulder a few times and then went inside.

I thought to myself, what was he up to?
Was he cheating on his wife or girlfriend?
Was that his wife/girlfriend and he was simply a cautious kinda guy that liked to repeatedly look over his shoulder every time he went into a door?

Whatever the case was, that was his life.

I take walks by myself all the time but this was one of the very few times that I could honestly say it was eventful. I’ve sat in a park and walked others do their things tons of time, or in a crowded square but following them was taking it a little over the norm.

I don’t think I would do it again as I don’t know what I would tell someone if they caught me but it was a fond experience, at the very least.

Then something very coincidental happened.
I found out there was a movie about the EXACT same thing I did, except it progresses on to someone who takes it too far. I watched it and was shocked at not only how well it was made, but at how similar the guy was to me: Following


February 1, 2005 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment